Another Forum, Another Start, Searching for the Right Expressive Medium

 I have in recent months been experimenting with ways to satisfy my desire for expressing myself, both in terms of my creative passions, but also in terms of my desire to actually connect with others. In some sense, my desire for connection is intellectual, but it is also social. It has proven to be, for me, a challenging problem, not so much for lack of things to say, nor actual forums on which I can express myself, but whether there is the right audience, distance, and the right control that allows me to give enough of myself, while not being overwhelmed by the potential attention and interactions that may fall out of "putting myself out there."

For those who do not know me, and indeed, that is probably most of you, I style myself an independent thinker and writer and learner. In this sense, I am representing only myself, presenting things that are of interest to me, both in the sense of being original, or taken from the World around me as interesting to me, and worth commenting, reflecting, weighing, considering and ultimately expressing verbally or written. The challenge here is the one that everyone that has an impulse to express faces, one both of reception: will I have an audience? And, secondarily, one of the interpretations of the receptions/responses received. As should be apparent, I am both thoughtful but also self-conscious, and this is sometimes useful, but often it can be an impasse to simply doing the work of the expression. And this becomes its own source of frustration.

At any rate, we continue to plug away, and to keep attempting and iterating until we hit some happy medium that allows a balance between this personal anxiety and irrepressible desire for outward expression, and the comfortable distance between myself and an audience and their reactions (who and whatever they may be) in the hopes of successful and mutually fulfilling interactions.

So all that said, here is to, yet again, new beginnings. Some next steps will be fitful starts are a series of mini-projects/experiments in both exploring more things I want to do, but also doing them--after all what is the point of just endlessly talking about whatever and never in the end getting around to doing anything, and I know I am constantly guilt of this.